Zeel the Great.

Friday, November 5, 2010

3 hour long classes each.

Our school is full of rejects and misfits. Today, i was on the computer during one of my blessed breaks and i was sitting in the library minding my own business. When this guy comes weilding a ball of yarn and starts wrapping yarn over all the objects around me. I was like, "excuse me, what the fuck are you doing?"
answer?.. social commentary.

Only in an art school can you get away with that shit on PUBLIC. TUTION FUNDED. PROPERTIES.

Then i had to return to class and i always attract some fat bitch with the loudest bag of sour patch candies. WHO is always in my hearing radius. Also, moving off topic, why do these girls think its okay to dress like its their last day alive? I've seen, one, a bitch with pink hair. Two, a bitch with 'thrased' stockings in the middle of winter and finally, some girl was wearing a indian headdress like it was a legit fashion accessory. Everyone here think its their duty to dress as atricious as possible.
Lets not forget to mention the courses. The whole doing the preliminary crap. I mean, come on. I'm a fucking magician when it comes to drawing circles, can we move on? do we need 3 weeks of practicing drawing funky little shapes. FUCK this, I didn't fork over a portion of my liver in money to do crap i've done in grade 4. TEACH me pr0feshinnuAl stuff.

Did i mention how pretentious everyone is? Some dude like in the middle of critique was like "because i am a freelancer graphic slash designer, i know that there is no perfect white, only the white of a paper"

Well shit, why arent you the professor? I hate that dude. FUCK him. I have like 6 people i've never talked to but i hate them, they are annoying and if i had to a crane, i'd make their deaths as public and painful as possible. constantly griping on shit. ALL the whining is just overwheliming. everywhere. everyday. by everyone. it's like im stuck in some time compression, where nothing gets out, nothing grows, nothing changes and everyone is devoid of intelligence.

And we have this new wall, where you can write 'why are you studying art' and some asshat was like 'cause i want do art not essays' GET A FUCKING GRIP GUYS. Why don't you do drugs then? SHIT. STUPID STUPID STUPID.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Debunking that Atheist Professor vs Christian Student bullcrap

The entire premise of this dialouge is that some hokey pokey christian addresses some ATHEIST professor and schools him by using bullshit logic. I am so, so, so, so, so, so tired of Christians using this conversation as some sort of trump card. Fuck this shit. Time to debunk your moronic crap.

Another Christian raises his hand. "Professor, may I address the class?"

The professor turns and smiles. "Ah, another Christian in the vanguard! Come, come, young man. Speak some proper wisdom to the gathering."

by the way, im horribly offended by how arrogant we 'atheists' are portrayed. If you stupid religious hicks didn't go around everyday denying facts, we wouldnt have to be in your face about it. We've practically been gentle with you for the rest of your life. so stuff it christians.

The Christian looks around the room. "Some interesting points you are making, sir. Now I've got a question for you. Is there such thing as heat?"

"Yes," the professor replies. "There's heat."

"Is there such a thing as cold?"

"Yes, son, there's cold too."

"No, sir, there isn't."

The professor's grin freezes. The room suddenly goes very cold.

oh fucking brilliant, are we going to be using temperature related adjectives for the rest of the script? God, you christians. I know some stupid ass christian wrote this. fucking die.

The second Christian continues. "You can have lots of heat, even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold, otherwise we would be able to go colder than 458 - You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. Because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just..," [Silence fills the room] "...the absence of it." [More silence. A pin drops somewhere in the classroom.] "Is there such a thing as darkness, professor?"

Not even giving the imaginary professor time to rebuttal huh? Had you let him speak he would have owned this point 3 times over. YES, cold is just a word we use to describe the absence of 'heat'. What fucking point is that? Because you took the professor too literally? It's apparently a point. What is this crap? HUK HUK, there is NO COLD IT JUST ABSENCE OF HEAT! U WRONG PROFESSOR. fucking stupid. The funniest part is he owns himself in that paragraph, but oh no, hes going to try it again. whazzz darkness?

"That's a dumb question, son. What is night if it isn't darkness? What are you getting at...?"

"So you say there is such a thing as darkness?"


"You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something, it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? That's the meaning we use to define the word. In reality, Darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker and give me a jar of it. Can you...give me a jar of darker darkness, professor?"

I can't wrap my head around the logical fuckery in this paragraph. Surely this chrisitan realizes that the 'absence' of one thing is still another thing? The absence of red in orange is yellow.

Even if he doesn't. Why would that matter? clearly we consider darkness the absence of light. Both do exist. I love Chrisitans, they take things literal when its necessary for them, but when it comes to their own religious texts, oh no its symbolic. Also, you could fuck away his argument in like a simple second. Can you bottle 'light'? can you bottle air? I mean, what the fuck. Some things aren't tangible, that doesn't dismiss their existence at all.

And you bet your ass I could show you an example of dark, darker, darkest. it's called the value scale. look it up.

Despite himself, the professor smiles at the young effrontery before him. This will indeed be a good semester. "Would you mind telling us what your point is, young man?"

"Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with and so your conclusion must be in error...."

The professor goes toxic. "Flawed...? How dare you...!"

"Sir, may I explain what I mean?" The class is all ears.

"Explain...oh explain..." The professor makes an admirable effort to regain control. Suddenly he is affability itself. He waves his hand to silence the class, for the student to continue.

yeah, oh my fucking zombie jesus. some student read the first few chapters of the psychology text book, fucking oh no. this professor is having trouble keeping his composure. Get a fucking grip christians. what sickmind decided to mock up a situation where some assnoob owns a FUCKING professor? ONLY when you believe in parting the sea and a boat big enough to carry two animals of every species can you possibly concoct such a ludicrous reality. No time in this universe will Christians ever, EVER (put me on record for this) school an atheist who knows what the fuck they're talking about.

"You are working on the premise of duality," the Christian explains. "That for example there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science cannot even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism but has never seen, much less fully understood them. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, merely the absence of it."

lolno. For fuck sakes. This writer can't even keep his story together. the assclown professor made NO such claim, but you know what. I will. A god can either be good, bad, or neither.. IT is impossible to be a mix of good and bad. They are mutually exclusive traits. so suck on it.

No one is viewing god as anything. ALL reasonable people just wonder. Hey, if this god exists, why do I need faith to believe in it? Then you guys throw out this 'omg we cant comprehend it' FUCK you bitch. I can comprehend grade 12 physics and that is aloooooooooot harder than some super diety with magic powers. My five senses have managed to work just fine up until you enter your Diety into the equation. If i have to disregard something that has kept me alive for my entire life JUST to believe in your god. Then, guess what? Lucifer is a calling. I'm sure he has lower standards.

The young man holds up a newspaper he takes from the desk of a neighbor who has been reading it. "Here is one of the most disgusting tabloids this country hosts, professor. Is there such a thing as immorality?"

"Of course there is, now look..."
"Wrong again, sir. You see, immorality is merely the absence of morality. Is there such thing as injustice? No. Injustice is the absence of justice. Is there such a thing as evil?" The Christian pauses. "Isn't evil the absence of good?" [The teacher is temporarily speechless.] The Christian continues. "If there is evil in the world, professor, and we all agree there is, then God, if he exists, must be accomplishing a work through the agency of evil. What is that work, God is accomplishing? The Bible tells us it is to see if each one of us will, of our own free will, choose good over evil."

blah, blah. oh my god, you're wrong because i take words completely literal. does this fuck for brains understand that words often time represent concepts? LOGIC, REASONING, INTELLIGENCE, these are words this nutjob should investigate. The professor was probably at awe at his act of douchery. I'm at awe still. Really? injustice doesn't exist? I DONT even understand the argument! injustice does not exist because injustice is the absence of justice! what the fuck? someone explain this argument to me. it still isn't making sense.

then he continues to justify his god. Well, all this killing, raping and pillaging is just a test by our creator. You know what? That somehow doesn't make it okay. Sick ass god and his stupid ass tests. WHY would a diety need to test me? if he wanted me to pass, he could just make me pass. End of story. Fucking psycho ass god. Such a ego this god has..

The professor bridles. "As a philosophical scientist, I don't view this matter as having anything to do with any choice; as a realist, I absolutely do not recognize the concept of God or any other theological factor as being part of the world equation because God is not observable."

we can't comprehend god at all, but oh yeah, he's real. geeeeeeeeeeeeet out of here. stupid chrisitans.

"I would have thought that the absence of God's moral code in this world is probably one of the most observable phenomena going," the Christian replies. "Newspapers make billions of dollars reporting it every week! Tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?"

"If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do."

"Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?" [The professor makes a sucking sound with his teeth and gives his student a silent, stony stare.] "Professor. Since no-one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an ongoing endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a priest?"

IS THIS DUDE FUCKING WITH ME? First of all brainy-fucking-ac. EVOLUTION IS OBSERVABLE and HAS been observed. we have enough evidence to fill up a science classroom. something you obviously skipped. and hey? You wanna know some examples of evolution that we can see, right now?

How's that you stupid fuck. get a job you overpriced hippy. leave the science to the scientist, not the fringe fundamentalist christians.

"I'll overlook your impudence in the light of our philosophical discussion. Now, have you quite finished?" the professor hisses.

fucking hisses. are you kidding me with this? no one thinks this exchange is completely fabricated nonsense. HISSES? really. I mean, I WOULD hiss. this dude just butchered the evolutionary theory. I'd hiss because of his distortion of several facts.

So you don't accept God's moral code to do what is righteous?"

"I believe in what is-that's science!"

"Ahh! SCIENCE!" the student's face splits into a grin. "Sir, you rightly state that science is the study of observed phenomena. Science too is a premise which is flawed..."

end this. end this. Science is not perfect, but it doesn't claim to know it all. See, what science does. it makes a guess, then, here's where i guess you religious people clue out, it proves it. theres a reason we accept that the earth is round. not because we can all go to the moon and check it. We've developed a sense of security with science. we believe in science because it has consistently proven itself. if science tells me rain falls downwards and then shows how, why, when, where, what. I'm going to believe it.

"SCIENCE IS FLAWED?" the professor splutters. The class is in uproar.

The Christian remains standing until the commotion has subsided. "To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, may I give you an example of what I mean?" [The professor wisely keeps silent.] The Christian looks around the room. "Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?" The class breaks out in laughter.The Christian points towards his elderly, crumbling tutor. "Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain...felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain?" No one appears to have done so. The Christian shakes his head sadly. "It appears no-one here has had any sensory perception of the professor's brain whatsoever. Well, according to the rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science, I DECLARE that the professor has no brain."

stupid argument. if we did some silly doctor test we could see his brain, hell, kill the bastard and we could smell it, touch it, taste it (yummy) all that good stuff.

If anyone thought this was a good argument, you are emotionally and intellectually weak. There is a very REASONABLE reason why we accept many things without seeing it for ourselves. That sounds alot like Jesus Chr- WRONG. we accept these things because we trust our senses. Science has demonstrated to us why the brain is there, how it functions, why it functions, the whole sha-bang. Science approaches us and explains to us how. religion doesn't do this, thats why we can dismiss it without evidence. I'm not going to dismiss the laws of gravity just because i don't see it. I understand how it works, thats enough to qualify belief.

The class is in chaos. The Christian sits... Because that is what a chair is for.

fail him

Monday, August 16, 2010

Hate Assualt - Internet #1

It always amuses me how you kids can scribble down 3ish paragraphs ranting about my manners, but, yet, you're still repeating the 8th grade. I will say to you what I say to all the haters who continue to dodge death. You can elicit the center of my asshole.

Let me remove that self importance haze that shrouds your space, because, your email suggests that we are on the same level. Girl, you are not even in my field of vision. You were spawned when a pair of malformed losers crawled out of the abyss and vomited one super special little shit, who will become the biggest super special fungus to dredge the earth. I wonder where you gained such a misguided sense of balls? You must of hit the bong three times when you decided to come out of your cavern and try to attack the mother and father of all flamers. Monkeys look down at your ignorance.

Your existence is a constant reminder that the status quo exists. You probably hop out of your bed, take off your jammies and walk into an empty room where you stare at the walls until bed time. That is how innocuous your life is. Then, probably, your father strolls in with a look of utter dejection as he catches your mom, the twin-headed hydra writing "shoulda, coulda, woulda had an abortion" all over the dining room table. Finally, your brother is infinitely more successful than you. May your existence continue to bolster my existence and may mercy come to you very soon.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Worst Morning of My Life

10;41 am - I am peacefully sleeping.

10;46am - I am awake.

I had promised my friend that i would follow her shopping, this was not permission to be fucking annoying at 10am in the morning. I know of bunch of assholes are reading this and thinking dude '10am' what are you a druggie? No, FUCK you. I didn't go to bed till 5am because I was up doing important fucking things on the computer. The first attempt was the worst method of waking anyone up. The come in your room, yell and lecture you and piss me off attempt.

HERE I AM SLEEPING PEACEFULLY and this wench comes in my room and starts this STUPID-ASS LECTURE. "I thought you said you were coming with us in the morning" and she did this with fucking attitude too. like her life was tied to me following them this morning. (Yes, them, my mom just invited herself to follow us. fucking amazing right?) Then my mom, PUTS HER HAND ON HER WAIST and goes in this unnecessary tirade about being a loser and blah, blah, blah. In my mind i was thinking "WHO SAID YOU WERE COMING?A!?"

I do one of those loud ass grunts like "URRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHGHYGUUURH" to make her get the message. and she does, she leaves. I settle into my bed, all chillin, I could just sense how progressivily annoying this was going to get. and guess who was right? FRIEND comes in now, turns on the light "Are u coming??"
"yes, turn off the light"
"you said you were-"
I AM, turn off the lights"

she turns off the light, you see, my friend knows how to actually deal with people, my mom? Holy fucking banana cake.
She comes in next, and this is literally a minute later, turns on my light, pushes open the door and in this witch like voice goes "TiMe tO waKe uP" and she just brisks back into her room. I got up, turned off the light, then closed the door, then went back to bed. Keep in mind guys, I know these people, they wont be leaving out till 12pm and here they are wasting my time and their time trying to wake me up at 10;40am.

Then, the breaking point comes in, right after i GOT UP to turn off the light and close the door, she comes back in, not even 30seconds, i didn't even get the covers back on, she comes in and flips on the light "wAke on Shooooone". I felt like snapping her neck! And she said my name in that fucking annoying way, that way where she enunciates the imaginary 'o' sound in my name. FUCK that shit. And i'm livid at this point. in my head, my mind is just doing victory laps on her dead body. WHY do i even need a mom? I am alive already, she don't need to be alive. fuck this.

She won. I had to get up.

By the way, she didn't even cook anything. You know what would have gotten me up right away? the smell of a man's breakfest, sausage, bacon, some waffles, maybe toast bread. Nadda, i had stupid ass Cheerios.

Lastly, it's been 10 minutes since i emerged out of my room, and everyone is just chilling watching tv, i dont know what was the big ass emergency. They way they came at me it was like we were leaving in 10 minutes.

update; a few new images in the treasury

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Flame Journey log #2

This will be my final log. Cause guess what? Shit was like banana fudge cake after my release.

I am reporting from the safety of my Hawkinator. My mind can't even comprehend what events followed.. and it's been three weeks. Upon my release I was let into their abyss of darkness. Their community of stupidity. Their topIx. Even then, as two guards lead me to their core I contemplated suicide. What i saw, felt, heard, and smelled is not a memory I enjoy reminiscing about. Before my release, i had spent my days of solitude devising a plan but at the time, the plan felt stupid, half assed, and arrogant. Obviously, i was meant to die here. The images were scaring, I remember witnessing these guys eat a babies head without ketchup.

The walk to the core was like a museum exhibition of lunacy. Everyone was insane and they talked mad shit. I remember this one member, this peasent, this insect, approached me and came in my face and called me a "maddox". I killed him on the spot with a swift punch to his mouth. The guards didn't do anything because that guy was annoying. We continued our approach, the walk was long. and slow. I felt like my head was going to implode. The sounds and sights of the place were becoming overwhelming and I just wanted to go to another planet and do some pillaging.

When we finally reached the heart of Mibination, my plan started to renew in my mind. It was now or never.

They had taken my weapons.
They had taken my pride
but most importantly, they had taken my time.

I screamed SUPER SAIYAN! and launched a Vegeta kick. you know that one he does in episode 16? I did that move on the closest little shit in my vicinity. This was my plan, beat the living shit out of everyone before the mobbz came.

And you know what?

They saw it coming.

The windows flew open and they came in brain dead drones. Here I was, taking out a member every three seconds, only to have a new one appear every second.The climax of eventually came, I did a backflip on someones nuts and then did a whirlwind spin kick on about 15 members. I don't remember what happened right after that exactly, but i remember this like knocking sound and then seeing the ceiling and even the ceiling looked stupid and then i woke up on my ship.

here are three gruesome depictions of my fighting moves.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Flow of Flare

download php there.

updated link

[quote]You guys are still stuck on this Flare shit? Jesus christ, someone has to be Flare. He can't possibly be the only moron out of the group of morons who has moved on? [/quote]

The answer is no. It seems Flare is the only moron who needs a pseudo identity. One that is entirely too pompous and seems like a bootleg version of Chris Kringle.

Hi, Flare. How's the weather in Tennessee? I was getting a little tired of this identity discussion. I thought we might have another Mattrina on our hands, lucky for us, your identity crisis is alot more simpler.

So, boom shacklackaboom, Zeel and Eleek head to the old forums to see if they can dig up some of Flare's posts. Guess what we find.

Flare in his prepubescent glory still checking out the old forums. april 2010. well damn that's fucking recent. Why the hell
would someone need to check the OLD XILERO forums if they don't even browse the current ones? thats bizarre as fuck no.
but definitely seems like Flare. He was always the obsessive little fucker.

Oh, but, that seems circumstantial. Flare17 could just be someother schmuck, not our beloved pussywillow THE ORIGINAL flare! WHO IS DEFIANTLY NOT FLOW

Oh nevermind. I'm pretty sure [b]flare17[/b]60@hotmail.com isn't a fucking coincidence. shucks!

Now that we got ourselves Flow's (flare) email we just go add him there. woah, vFlare? Oh look at me, I'm an obnoxious jerkoff and my name happens to be vFlare. Woe is me and my mediocrity

I simply google the modda fucker and we find an inactive gatheringRO with a queerass avatar. whats substantial about this avatar is the anime.

That shitcakes anime.

oh you know that one. the one that flow has beaten to death with his signatures/avatar and overall queerness of his personality? Well i'll be damned.
We have a link.
oh but this must be fucking coincidental

So, lets head of to myanime list, because every Otaku and their pet dog visit this site. Hmm. Flow.


Fuck. this one is inactive. i guess our entire case is debunked. shame.

Oh wait. look at this one. this "vFlare"


the peice da la resistant

Flow's post

Flare's Favourite character

flow's Avatar/signature's
Hei again

fucking hei

Note: Flow wanted to watch Technolyze, look whats mentioned in his anime list. Yeah, Technolyze. Look at the dates, yeah the same. THE SAME DATE.

One last pounder. because i'm sure the bitch hasn't quaked in pleasure yet.


Oh, no, no, no. This doesn't just show that Flare is viewing Xilero (and rating it five stars) but, right ON THE EXACT DAY that our beloved Flow arrives.

vFlare is registering a new photobucket ( i wonder what for?!!??!). I guess he was being smart here, cant use the same ole' photobucket and expect to have a different identity, right. What I'm still wondering is why this dude needs to be undercover? You remind me of one of those grandpas on Chris Hansen's show. get a grip son. this is scary the lengths you would go to deny association with yourself. I mean, I understand it, but damn boy.

Get a grip.

Well, what an adventure. I guess we all can finally conclude that our beloved moderator should be banned. because, according to his logic.
if you were banned over 3 years ago you should still be banned!!!!! and banned again! and again! and again!

Sorry, Flow. You were a cool guy (not really) but take your trouncing like a man and admit you're flare and if you do ban yourself, please try not to kill yourself. We know the only real identity you have is on this board but its time to grow a beard and live life outside the internet.

You were banned for ban evasion and the constant garbage you spew.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Hills finally comes to an end.


specially off my tv.

Fuck you. sexy bitch

you're kind of off my tv set.

Bye bye slut rangers.
I hope you guys don't do spin off specials.

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Flame Journey log #1

-start log-

This is captain Zeel, reporting from this intergalactic prison on miBination. I have been captured and detained in this medium sized cell, locked with all the gooks and all the braindead assholes.

Who am I?

I am the Galaxy Overlord or I was until some noob locked me up in this jail. I have been exploring planets since I was three, and conquering them since I was two. I travel the universe in my Hypertension Portal- Spaceship (nicknamed the Hawkinator) landing on planets and liberating them of their leaders. Sometimes I run into Mobers'.

They are born on the planet Nolyfe through a freak mutation caused by introducing nuclear power to prepubescents.

When I landed, i felt a sense of doom immediately. Here was this land, populated to the brim with these ugly looking people and with these ugly looking structures. everything was green and purple and you could tell that the City designer really had no qualifications for designing cities. The allure of a new exploration started to fade and I considered returning to my ship, several times. When I approached the community, I knew I had made a great mistake.

their aroma of stupidity began to override my senses and the mass amount of brainless zombies began to surround me. I was being quickly overwhelmed. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered.

Is this a trap?

I attempted to flee, but I was quickly outnumbered and forced to battle my way to my spaceship. I took my flaming beam sword (nick: Spartan) and began hacking their limbs off. I specifically aimed for their genitals, not wanting to kill them, but still wanting to humiliate them. I carved a Z on all females and if I had time, I would have taken them out to diner. But today, I was in danger. Today, they were surrounding me fast and gaining in numbers. I must have trounced 200 already and they were still coming.

I switched my beam sword to grenade rocker (it has that option) and began taking potshots at anyone ahead and behind me. I was obviously dominating until some big boobed bitch deflected one of my grenades into one of their badly designed structures, it looked like a neon green pillar that served no purpose and was erected in the worst possible place. "topix" they call them. They use these areas as eating locations where they lure stupidity virgins and feed on their brains.

The destruction caused more chaos then I intended. In the wake of the falling building a beast appeared, his name, i'll later find out is Moppe "the child toucher". He was about 3 times as wide as he was tall. He must of been a hybrid because I could locate his boobs and his penis. He snarled some stupid gibberish at his moronic followers. and then slowly moved his way to me.

I was still trying to find my Flame beam Sword that was lost in the chaos of the falling building. I wanted to get the fuck out of there.He looked confident, despite the fact that he was having trouble breathing and even more trouble walking. He swayed back and forth as he treaded through the debris and dead bodies. He probably thought that I gave a shit about his Nuclear powers. Finally, when he was within hearing distance he began to make up nonsense on the spot, stringing together words, sounds and bullshit warns to act tough. Because of how incomprehensible it was, i can remember the sound of each word;

"dunt qeep this up. ef iuuuuu thk uuuuu well gcet aawy with actinnnng so nega, nega, nega-tively to oddur members, then uuuuuuu are wrong. Consider this a warning. If uuuuuu qeep up this aptittuude, you will be remuved"

NOTE I think he is on some sort of space drugs.

I tried to explain to him the situation but he struck. and fast. he pinned me down and started fondling my balls. I was getting extremely worried. I was a super weight heavy champion back on Earth, so I am really strong, but this mammoth was able to overpower me without even trying and now he was attempting to couple with me. I remember yelling something like "GET OFF ME U QUEEN" but my memory of this event is hazy. After a good 5 minutes of TRYING to rape me, he put some sort of space handcuffs on me and haled my ass to jail. they call it the Ban Zone. I was pissed.

-end log-


they wear bandannas because they think it makes them cool. false

Moppe the child toucher. Prob final boss

flame thrower/grenade launder/beam sword
The Hawkinator. With missile launchers

Planet MiBination

Sunday, July 4, 2010

A Scientific Study on Education and Hot Girls

I was having a chat with my friend, some dude in life sciences and eventually we got to the topic of girls. I asked him, hows his 'situation' and he told me that.. and I quote 'the bitches be ugly'.

And i look at him like, "well how high are your standards? I cannot accept that there's no attractive female out of 300 people"

(Oh yeah, I don't use 'hot' to describe females. too juvenile. I use words like sexyfuck or stupendous)

He went "if i wanted attractive females I would of went to York"

(Playboy apparently did a study, it has the 3rd hottest women in North America. PURE HYPE. the women there are just as ugly as HIGHSCHOOL!)

this perplexed me even further, so I asked, "do you think hotness is relative to the institution? The more prestigious, the hotter?" He answers back with "the heavier the load the uglier the chick."

And i was like. "why is that? Surely hotgirls want to become Lawyers, Doctors and whatever the crap. This might just be your own bias, you assume nerdy chicks are ugly so they become ugly."

He rebuttaled with

"Deductive reasoning my friend but, I have seen those classes and ain't none of them bangable with a paper bag on their head".

I concluded.. "further research must be done!"

he retorted back "In the name of science!"

So I went to the internet, grabbed a graduating class picture and now we gonna do some study.

One of his claim is that the classes are like Yellow Mellow, shit is very asian dominated. I DIMISSED that, ASIANS are the miniority, how could they be more than 40% of the class? well...

As you can see, I divided this graduating class of Mechanical Engineering into race. (FYI, females were so rare they got their own race, purple. Which is not sexist)

Browns: 22
Blacks: 3
whites: 41
Asians: 30
Females: 7
TOTAL: 103

This photographer is such a racist. He packed all the asians in the middle, then spread the whites around and then put the browns on the left. What is he trying to imply? racist.

Anyways, the stats show us that for the miniority they kinda are doing their shit. Seriously they make up 30% of the graduating classs.. damn boy.

But, onto the serious issues, the nerdiness.

As you can see. Asians look really nerdy.. they make up about 60% of the nerdom, like damn. And trust me, i'm good at spotting nerdiness. About 80% of the Asians were nerds. Some of you might be thinking "duh!" I agree but it's good to get some factual evidence to the claim

Next, badassery. Like guys or chicks that I would hang out with cause they look so badass. I'll use devil horns to measure their badass. FYI, i'm not glassist. I just don't like dudes wearing sunglasses in broad daylight. Honestly, who are you? Fonz? You guys can't be my friends, bro.
Less than 5%. You guys are putting Engineering to shame.

Finally, the reason we started this crap.. "attractiveness". Keep in mind i was very lenient, if i was keeping these guys to MY standard. Only about two would have made it.
So.. They are no different than any other class. The fact that it's a sausage fest just makes all these guys look like extreme homosexuals.

Note: For some reason the photographer packed all the 'attractive' males in the front. JESUS! Engineers cant even get a break when graduating. Damn this superficial society!!!!!!!

Friday, June 25, 2010

I'm getting mad hate from every corner of my life.

I wake up, go to my fridge, we out of bacon. Hate.

I get up, try to log into my DFO source account, I get banned. Hate.

I go to my blog to rant about it, i see two new comments from two holy shittsters. Hate.

I go to my girlfriends house (soon to be ex) and guess what happens?
I'm playing San Andreas right ( I brought my ps2 over) and i'm doing that mission where you have to drop off OJ loc' to the burger joint. you know? the hard as an erection level? Keep in mind, i've replayed this level like 5 times now! Just as I'm about to getaway from the cops(three star wanted level)

HOTNOSE comes RIGHT INFRONT OF THE screen. RIGHT INFRONT. During the pivotal moment of escape (Getting into the car). She comes in and goes "WE NEED TO TALK"
and then i hear the "GET ON THE GROUND" from the screen and I know I've just lost two games.

the actual interaction went something like this:

Woman- "Are you busy? Because we need to talk"
Me- "FUCK!"...."I mean, sure princess."
"Dammit, I don't want to bullshit empathy for another 30 minutes"

At this point, i haled ass out of there, running as fast as water is wet. I left my ps2 with a probably ironic "BUSTED" message on the screen. hate.

Now I'm avoiding calls and emails and any female interaction with the woman until i get a game plan. Here's what I am thinking.

1. Fake heart attack or seizure. Always fun but hard.
2. Pre-emptive dump. Before she even sits down, i yell 'U R BEING DUMPED"
3. swamp her in compliments and hope to avoid the breakup until I can pull another flyer hotter chick.
4. cry in public. Yikes.

Yes and I don't understand why she is dumping me(ME OF ALL PEOPLE) but I AM NOT GOING TO LET IT HAPPEN.

hotnose = nickname because her nose is sexy as fuck. It's REDAWNKULICS

Sunday, June 13, 2010


why would I fabricate someone who makes my life miserable?

Who the fuck does that? Honestly, I'm not that much of a psycho fuck that I enjoy being treated like a personal ken doll. Seriously, get your head examined. I can't even fathom why anyone would waste time conjuring up an imaginary female who plays with their balls like its a musical instrument (not in the good way). Next, why would you doubt me? have you seen how physically well built I am? HAVE you read my blog? I AM FUNNY and GOOD LOOKING. there is nothing else a girl could want, that's why I have one.

Unlike the average reader of my blog. So sad that you guys are such losers. Not that I'm particularly proud of this relationship. It reminds me of DAYS OF OUR LIVES. its entirely too mellow dramatic and not enough booty. I wish I was single but I do not have the willpower to end it. If you read my other rant, it basically lays it out. I am one sick fucker. I seem to enjoy (put up) with her treatment. This must be what love is.

Also she is like some sort of hybrid between crack cocaine and emotional tirades. Fucking sucks.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Kate Gosselin - setting the standard for housewives everywhere!

Because of the British fangirls over at TVGASM got me eliminated.. i now have a tv recap that i wasted hours on. So Im just sticking it here. Budda' bing.

I’ll never understand why Americans our enamored by eight little shits and their prostitute of a mother. Inside Kate’s World is like watching a blind midget ride a bicycle, a cascade of failure on a mountain bike.

So you want me to recap “In Kate’s World”? for these thankless little peasants? Who throw a huge tantrum over a few British jokes? Well, giddy up then. (By the way there will be A PLETHORA of British jokes to come, suck on it) It starts off with a bunch of B list celebrities bolstering Kate Gosselin. I mean, some of these quotes are ridiculous and you can tell they realize it half way through. Here’s and example:

LOL. Tell us how you really feel.

Anyways, after about, like, what? 10ish quotes of them saying obviously rehearsed crap, we transition into a hair segment. Yes, and I counted, we spend 11minutes and 39 seconds on her hair extensions. Honestly, any one out there who is actually enjoying this show you need some serious medical help. At this point I became more preoccupied with the “CAKE BOSS” excerpt at the bottom right of the screen. Can someone tell me if that show is good? Or what it is about? Seems like people come together and make some badass cakes. Yummy. God knows I wont be watching this chick channel ever again.

it pains me that I am contributing positively to the ratings.

After, what felt a little bit like time compression, we finally move on to her bumbling fuck up on Dancing With The Stars and you know what? I don’t really understand why anyone is wasting their time discussing KATE GOSSELIN. The blonde extensions make her look like an over glossed tramp. This is just another ‘segment’ of the most trivial crap imaginable, seriously, TLC, there are kids in Mozambique who don’t even have sanitary water, why are we wasting time examining some girl’s awful dance moves? Don’t get me wrong kids, I’m not a pacifist. I just feel it’s akin to torture to force anyone to watch an hour of this.

Well switch majors, honey. You are on the wrong path!

OooOoOoo la la I’m Kate Gosselin, I had 8 kids. No one gives a shit. Get a life all you Kate Gosselin fans, you need real hobbies and REAL lives. Thankfully, they literally flood this show with commercials, which I greatly appreciate. Each break relieves the massive strain this show is putting on my cranium. When we return we usually start some other stupid insignificant part of KATE GOSSELIN’s life. This time we focus on her book signing. Again, I hate to keep ranting in the middle of this craptastic show, but what could she possibly write about? How to dance badly and still call it a ‘career move’? Please! Someone give me a shovel so I can bury this bitch and bring her back to Earth.

I bet my left nut she is sleeping with ‘Steve’ Naw, kidding. I am just fabricating shit for the heck of it. (68% chance she is shacking with him this exact moment)

The next segment was probably the best 4 seconds of the show. For the first 30ish minutes we had to deal with a lot of her stupid fangirls and her inflated sense of purpose. Her crappy book signing surely flounced her back into reality. She was expecting FIFTEEN HUNDRED FANS! And, I swear to god, I counted EIGHT. Universal Justice! God, you taste sweet on my tongue. That’s what you get for creating this ridiculous 60 minute show and making me watch it.

Oh another interesting tidbit, apparently she gets EMAIL THREATS. Seriously, Americans? Seriously? Threats to Kate Gosselin? Do you know there are REAL terrorists? This girl spends her morning cleaning up pudding pops. Why is she on anyone’s priority list? Damn. I’d really like to read some of these threats.

EDIT: Here is a real intimidating threat I’ve obtained.

Finally, to wrap this up, we spend the last 20 minutes.. on what I can only call an emotional tirade over child custodddddyy. She is tearing up and I am wondering why she has a limousine. Why is a limo necessary to take her from her home to a studio? Is she too glamorous for a taxi now? Sheese? It’s just her and KEVIN too (and the camera man) what a waste of money! Oh yeah, her crying is about people calling her a bad mother, blah, blah, end, blah, end, end. This show is total waste of my time

she said it, not me.